


This is What It Feels Like

by kikabennet



Series: Raising Yevgeny Milkovich [20]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Family Drama, Family Feels, Gavrel Milkovich, Gay Sex, Gentle Sex, Husbands, Insecurity, Isidora Milkovich, M/M, Married Life, Married Sex, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikabennet/pseuds/kikabennet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mandy returns home to Chicago and has news for Ian and Mickey. Part 20 of the "Raising Yevgeny Milkovich" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is What It Feels Like

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys! I am so happy that I've received ideas and I'm trying to get to them as fast as I can. I've had a few requesting Mandy, so here it is, and please keep sending me ideas and as always I appreciate all of the feedback! Thank you so much!

“I think the kids are here,” Ian murmured into Mickey's shoulder before rolling over and sitting up.In a matter of seconds, the front door was being pounded on.

“Fuckin' here alright,” Mickey grumbled, also sitting up. He climbed out bed and pulled on some pajama pants. Ian did the same.

Traveling downstairs together, they went to the front door where they could already hear the trio of small voices. Mickey unlocked and opened the door.

“Morning!” Alex bubbled. “Special delivery.”

“You guys are here early,” Ian said, rubbing his eyes.

“You wanna come in for some coffee?” Mickey asked Alex, hoping he would say no because there was no coffee made and he didn't feel like entertaining guests.

“No, I'm running late for the nephew's soccer match,” Alex replied. “But thanks.”

Alex kissed the top of Yevgeny's head and said, “See you guys on Wednesday.”

“Bye, Alex,” the kids said, already walking into the house, Mickey shutting the door behind them.

“Daddy,” Gavrel said. “Can you fix us some pancakes?”  
Izzy hugged onto Ian's leg and he scooped her up, holding her against his bare torso by her wrists and then allowed her to flip herself over so he was holding her upside down by the waist. He began to sway side by side, making her laugh. He set her down and she ran to Mickey, who picked her up too.

“Little fuckin' brat,” he said affectionately, kissing her on the mouth. “Missed ya.”

“Missed you!” She said, giving him a hug around the neck.

The five of them traveled into the kitchen where Ian began to dig around for things to make pancakes. Yevgeny looked in the fridge for something to snack on. Gavrel opened the door to the backyard and stared outside. Izzy scrambled onto her usual spot on the counter top beside the stove to watch Ian cook. It was the start to a perfect Saturday morning.

After the pancakes were cooked and Ian began serving, Mickey helped with the butter, syrup, cutting of pancakes and pouring milk. The kids chattered away, and they were silenced when there was a knock at the door. Ian glanced at Mickey.

“Expecting anyone?” He asked his husband.

“Might be Joey,” Mickey said. “He said he might come by and borrow the air compressor.”

He moved to the front door and unlocked and opened it with a “Holy fuck!”

Ian quickly moved into the living room to see who it was.

“Hey, Mick.” It was Mandy.

 

“Mandy?” Ian said, appearing by Mickey's side. “Oh my God.”

He let out a breathy laugh and embraced her, repeating, “Oh my God.”

The children appeared behind them curiously, staring at the slender, dark haired woman. Ian led her inside and said, “It's been, what? Ten years?”

“How did you even find us?” Mickey asked.

“Iggy still lives at the house,” Mandy replied. “Gave me the address.”

She looked around. “Cute little place you got.”

Mickey rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen.

“Are you still with Kenyatta?” Ian asked her, leading her into the kitchen with them.

Mandy shook her head. “I left his ass six years ago. I've been with three guys since then. Working on getting divorced now.”

She looked at the kids and smiled. “Oh my God. Is this Yevgeny?”

Yevgeny nodded and looked at his parents questioningly.

“Yevgeny.” Ian touched the top of each of their heads. “Gavrel, and Izzy.”

“So you got married and had kids?” Mandy asked them. “Wow.”

“Well, it wouldn't be so 'wow' if you'd been here,” Mickey told her.

“Mickey,” Ian said, giving him a look.

“What?” Mickey looked at Mandy. “Never called, never texted, never sent a letter. Just up and moved to fuckin' Indiana without a single 'Hey, guys. I'm okay'.”

“I wasn't okay,”Mandy said. “My life was pretty fucked up at the time, alright? And I wanted to call. I just lost my nerve every time and finally it was just too late.”

“Bullshit,” her brother said. “It was never too late.”

“This is your Aunt Mandy,” Ian finally explained to the kids. “She's Daddy's sister.”

“So he's Daddy-” Mandy pointed to Mickey. “So, Ian, you must be... 'Papa'?”

“We don't do that shit,” Mickey told her, prodding Gavrel and Izzy to the table where their pancakes were getting cold. “We're both 'Daddy' and it works out alright.”

“The word 'Daddy' is important to both of us,” Ian told Mandy. “And Mickey's right. It's never been confusing.”

Mandy leaned against the counter top, smiling at Ian. “Iggy also told me you're a Milkovich.”

“Yup.” Ian continued to prepare breakfast. “Took the name right after Gavvie was born.”

He smiled shyly at Mickey and said to Mandy, “We got married right after you left.”

Mandy smiled too, looking between them. She then looked at the kids and shook her head, still grinning.

“You're living the apple pie, picket fence life, aren't you?” She teased.

“Sometimes,” Mickey said neutrally, trying to look busy moving around the kitchen.

“What about you?” Ian asked, setting a plate of pancakes in front of her. “Kids?”

“Can't,” she said simply. “STD. A gift from my second husband.”

Ian and Mickey exchanged glances. Everyone knew that Mandy would have made a great mother. She took a bite of her pancakes and asked, “So did you go to the funeral?”

“What funeral?” Mickey asked, sitting down to eat his own pancakes. Since Mandy was occupying a chair, he prodded Gavrel off of his and stuck the five year old on his lap. Gavrel continued eating like he'd never even moved.

Mandy frowned. “Terry's.”

Mickey's fork stopped halfway to his mouth. Ian looked at him.

“Oh my God,” Mandy said, putting her own fork down. “You didn't know?”

“No I didn't fucking know!” Mickey snapped, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“That's why I'm here,” Mandy said. “I found his obituary online. How the hell did you not know?”

“When did he die?” Ian asked, remembering that they hadn't seen Terry in three months, since Yevgeny's birthday.

“Two weeks ago,” Mandy said. “Died in jail. Kidney failure.”

“Mickey-” Ian said with a sigh, but Mickey stood up, holding Gavrel, and slammed his chair against the table.

“Good fucking riddance,” he muttered, walking away with the little redhead.

“Where are you going?” Mandy asked.

“Gavvie's got diabetes,” Mickey said, already heading for the stairs. “Check his blood sugar.”

Ian sighed again and told Mandy, “I'm sorry to hear that.”

“There wasn't a funeral I guess,” Mandy said, wiping at her eyes. “I just don't know how you guys didn't know.”

Ian gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then jogged upstairs to find Mickey pricking Gavrel's finger in the bathroom. He leaned against the door frame.

“You okay?” He asked.

“ 'm fine,” Mickey said, and gave Gavrel a little pat on the butt. “You're good. Get lost, Red.”

Gavrel scurried away, calling for Yevgeny to go outside and play tetherball with him. Ian moved into the bathroom and put the toilet lid down, sitting down on it.

“He was your dad,” he said quietly.

“He was a nightmare,” Mickey replied, scoffing softly. “You know, I remember one time in my whole fucking life that he ever hugged me? One.”

Ian said nothing.

“It was when my mom died,” Mickey said. “At the hospital, they crammed us all into some 'family room' to give us the news and when they did, we all started crying. I was eight, Mandy was seven, and my dad let us cry on him. I remember thinking, 'so this is what it feels like'.”

He gave a half smile and shook his head. “He ruined me, Ian.”

“No, he didn't.” Ian stood up and moved to embrace him. “He didn't ruin you.”

Mickey pulled away, but held Ian's hands.

“Do you know how scared I get of hurting our kids?” He asked. “I'm always scared that I'll lose my patience or my temper and seriously hurt them.”

Ian was well aware that even though Mickey bitched and barked, he often shied away from real punishment when it came to the kids. He had to really, really be pushed before he would finally let them know he'd had enough.

“Everything okay?” Mandy appeared in the doorway, holding Izzy.

“Are you okay, Dad?” Yevgeny asked, standing beside Mandy. “ I know that Terry was your dad.”

“I'm okay,” Mickey told him. “I'm really fuckin' okay.”

“That's my daddy,” Izzy told Mandy. “And that's my other daddy. Mama's at my other house.”

“Oh, yeah?” Mandy asked, smiling and then nosed her hair. To Mickey and Ian she said, “She's so cute. I would take her home.”

She rubbed Yevgeny's hair. “And this one. I haven't seen him since he was a chubby blonde baby.”

“And me?” Gavrel asked, coming up the stairs. “Would you take me home?”

“I'd take all of you home,” Mandy said.

“Where is home anyway?” Ian wanted to know.”Where are you staying?”

“With Iggy right now,” Mandy replied. “Not sure if I'm going back to Indiana or not.”

“What's in Indiana?” Ian asked with a shrug.

“Stay here for a few days at least,” Mickey said, no nonsense. “Think it over.”

=================================================================================================

Mandy ended up staying the whole day and departed for Iggy's after the kids were already in bed. Ian and Mickey had sex, and Ian made sure to make it last a lot longer, to go slow and gentle. It wasn't really their thing, but he figured Mickey needed the closeness.

“How do you feel about Frank?” He asked suddenly, after several minutes of silence, the two of them just lying side by side.

“Frank?” Ian turned his head to look at him.

“Yeah, like, if he died tomorrow,” Mickey said casually, throwing his hand out. “Would you be sad?”

“Well, Frank is an asshole,” Ian said, staring back at the ceiling. “But he's not like Terry. He's just more apathetic towards his kids than anything. We're just sort of 'there' to him.”

He turned back to Mickey and said, “It's okay if you miss him, you know.”

“I don't,” Mickey said. “That's the problem. I mean, fuck. He was my dad, and I don't feel anything.”

He sat up and Ian stared up at him, still lying back on the mattress.

“You know what I hate the most about him?”

Ian waited silently for him to answer.

“I hated Yevgeny when he was born,” Mickey said. “No attachment at all, and it was because I saw him as what Terry did to me, and I still think back on this to this day, and I hate him because I missed that time with my own son.”

Ian sat up, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the back of Mickey's neck, not kissing him necessarily, just keeping his mouth there. When he finally pulled back, he said, “I watched you fall in love with that baby. I saw it, Mick, and it was incredible. You're a great fucking father.”

“Fuck off,” Mickey murmured, smiling sadly.

“When Terry came home, what'd you all do? Get scared. You were miserable,” Ian reminded him. “What happened this morning when ours came home? They were all over you.”

Mickey turned his head so they could kiss, slow and sensual now. Ian smiled through their lip-locking.

“I think you might have a praise kink,” he mumbled.

“Fuckin' retard,” Mickey murmured in reply. He grinned and said, “Tell me I'm a great dad.”

“You, Mikhailo Milkovich,” Ian said, moving behind Mickey to kiss his neck and start down his back. “Are a great dad. You're also a great brother. Great uncle.”

He pushed Mickey down gently with his hand, making Mickey groan. This was not about to be slow, gentle sex.

“You're also a great husband,” Ian said. “Everything Terry was not.”

==========================================================================================

“Daddy!”

The wailing came from the bedroom next door.

“It's Izzy,” Ian muttered sleepily, moving to get up.

“I got it,” Mickey grumbled, half awake. He put on some pajama bottoms and stumbled into his daughter's room, where she was sitting up in bed sobbing.

“What's wrong?” He asked sleepily, flipping her light on.

Izzy continued to cry, and Mickey moved to pick her up, still trying to wake up fully.

“Izzy,” he said with a yawn. “Baby girl, what's the matter with you?”

“I had a dream,” Izzy finally managed to sputter out. “And in my dream, a gorilla came into my bedroom and killed me!”

“A gorilla?” Mickey frowned. “The fuck, Iz.”

Chuckling softly, he carried her into his bedroom where Ian was already sitting up, rubbing at his eyes.

“What's wrong, Dizzy?” Ian asked her.

“Gorilla tried to kill her or some shit,” Mickey said, climbing into bed with her.

“A gorilla?” Ian's brows furrowed.

“Who even knows,” Mickey said, covering Izzy up, who was between them. “Hey, chill out, Kid. Any gorilla comes in here, I'll take care of it, alright?”

“You'll fight it?” Izzy asked, sniffling.

“Yeah, and I'll fuckin' win too,” Mickey told her. “Now go to sleep-” he kissed her. “It's late and I ain't got time for that shit.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and Ian kissed her too.

After several seconds, she snuggled up against Mickey and asked quietly, “What if the gorilla gets Yevvie and Gavvie?”

“Nothin's getting' my kids,” Mickey said.

“Okay.” Izzy sounded convinced, but she moved as close to him as she could, and stayed that way all night. It was something Mickey would have never done with own his father, and that soothed him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know it's totally unrealistic that Mickey and the brothers would not have learned of Terry's death when he actually died, but I did not really want to add any more about Terry than I absolutely had to. And I don't know if Mickey's mom is dead or not, I just made that up b/c I never see her. I hope you enjoyed it regardless!


End file.
